wanna go home.

i don't think i've ever been busier in my life. or maybe i'm just not used to working hard. whatever it is, these past months of hard work and my viral infection this week, has taken something outta me. am feeling quite giddy nowadays at odd intervals (k says that he always knew that 'dizzy izzy' was justified), and still have a bad cold. Thats probably due to this strange weather. its beautiful, it rains, its cold and slightly sunny sometimes.... just beautiful... not too good for my sinuses though. Never mind, Elaine's a bigger force than the weather and she shall triumph.

K's come to town... and am thrilled. its so nice to have him here. A's here too of course, but i rarely get to see him. K's staying with S just behind my house and its quite comforting to have him around. he's found a place for himself now, and am quite looking forward to his wife coming down. can't imagine him a stable happily married man.

J's got INSEAD. he's waiting for the other school's to close, but if they dont happen he's going. it'll be quite sad i think. he's a great colleague, very hard working, and a nice guy. I used to think he's reserved and moody.i still think he's reserved, but i dont think he's moody anymore. i'm fond of him now, he likes the same music i do more or less, gets my jokes (a lottttttt of people don't) and he's genuinely kind. A very nice chappie overall... why do all the nice people leave????? anyways, i hope he becomes an Ibanker and makes lots of money.. i cant think of anyone who deserves it more than he does. and we shall get him drunk when/if his girlfriend comes to town. though at this point, i haven't a clue as to his location or where he plans to be till the end of this year.

Speaking of christmas and New year what am i gonna be doing in this godforsaken place? havent a clue. i miss my friends. i miss my family. and i want to go home. F's behaving really immature and childish... i can't handle it when people sulk and sulk. A's told me, and so has S, that i do a bad job of positioning myself. most people think i'm this extrovert who loves going out everyday, meeting new people, partying. i don't really. once in 2 weeks is ok, that too not a necessity. i'd rather be home with family/friends, or read a book, or watch a DVD. F used to think I was exactly like her...maybe thats coz she's only seen me for short periods of time, and those days i was on holiday. nowadays, sleeping for 8 hours and waking up to get up work is more important than going out and meeting new people. Though i'm not introvert from any angle, i have enough friends.. and i'd rather stay in touch with them than meet new people. i mean you meet people everyday, why dyu have to go out and consciously meet people? She's going through a different phase in life.. and she thinks i should go through it too.

2 lessons for this week.
1. Manage expectations. From the beginning of any relationship, friendship, whatevership, show em your true self. there is no need to go with the flow to be accomodating. you are you and if people like you less, screw them
2. Handle perceptions. its all about how you project yourself and how people perceive you. start setting it right.

a question for anyone who's crazy enough to go through this long post and reach the end.

What is maturity?